Christmas Dinner
by Eckeltrician
Summary: All Lily wanted was to have a nice Christmas dinner. She certainly didn't expect a perfect Christmas. L/J. Oneshot.


**Title: **Christmas Dinner

**Author: **S. K. Moor

**Summary: **All Lily wanted was to have a nice Christmas dinner. She certainly didn't expect a perfect Christmas.

**A/N: **Hey, guys! It's me again!

So I hope you like this one too. I just had to write something Christmas-y. It was meant to be humour, but I think it's ended up as a more serious romace. Oh, well.

Please review and tell me what you think! Thanks go to Kelsey, as always, for being the best, if not craziest, beta and friend known.

**_Merry Christmas!!_**

S.K.

* * *

"_Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer/had a very shiny nose/ And if you ever saw him/you would even say it glows..."_

Lily Evans danced around the small kitchen of the flat she had shared with her boyfriend, James Potter, for the past four months. She knew she ought to have been stirring the vegetables, perhaps putting the turkey into the oven, but it was _Christmas_. No one ever got annoyed at procrastination on Christmas Day. Mainly because that would make them hypocrites.

But even so. She didn't want a burnt Christmas dinner. That would ruin the perfect day in front of her, the perfect first Christmas with just her and James. Lily and James. Of course, she reflected, finally giving up on her dance and moving towards the turkey, it would have been much easier and less worrisome if James could help her. Oh, he had _tried, _she knew that, but after watching him bang around the kitchen and nearly set the stove on fire, she had sent him out.

"Why don't you just use _magic_?" he asked, frustrated.

She glared at him. He just didn't get it, did he? "This is how all my Christmas dinners were made," she told him. "Besides, you can't always fall back on magic. You become too dependent on it."

He had snorted and mumbled something about 'magic is in the _blood_' before she had pushed him out and ordered him to tidy up the flat. Lily wasn't eating _her _Christmas dinner in a mess.

She washed her hands, just to be sure, before putting the turkey into the oven she'd installed herself. Now, she just had to make everything else went perfect, and in two hours, she and James would be enjoying a quiet Christmas dinner....

"_Lily!" _

What the hell?

"Lily, where are you?" the 'o' in 'you' had been drawn out, in a very typical, very....Sirius-like manner.

Oh, shit.

"What have you made us, Lily?" Sirius sauntered into the kitchen, in his unique fashion, the other three Marauders behind him. James threw her one apologetic glace, but refused to meet her eye.

"Sirius Black?" it was a question – she couldn't believe her eyes. "What on _earth _are you doing here? I _told _you to _stay away_!"

"Yes, yes," he replied impatiently, leaning against the counter. Remus was looking everywhere but her and Peter was staring at the floor. "That's all very lovely and nice, Evans, but I want to know what you have _made us_."

Lily clenched her fists, counting to ten in her head before speaking. She didn't want to curse him into oblivion, after all.

Well, she did, but the James wouldn't like it. And the Ministry wouldn't appreciate her Christmas dinner excuse.

"I have not made you anything," she got out through gritted teeth. "What are you doing here?"

"Why, I'm here for Christmas Day, of course!" he exclaimed, before throwing her a sly smirk. "Wouldn't want you and James here to be lonely would we?"

That _prick._ He _knew _she wanted her quiet Christmas, he _knew _she and James had planned it to be just them two.

And he was here to ruin all of it.

In that moment, Lily felt herself _hating _Sirius Black. She knew he didn't like her, and that he thought she would break James' heart, even a year after they'd been dating and she had admitted herself in love with him.

Why couldn't he just leave it alone? Yes, she had been a bitch to James, but he'd changed in seventh year, and everything was perfect now. When she saw her future, all she could see was James. Why didn't he believe that?

_Because he's looking out for his best friend_, a small voice reminded her. _Surely you could understand, after all you put Daniel through._

Daniel McKinnon was Marlene's husband. Lily had given him hell for two years, before she decided he was deserving of her friend.

Sometimes, she hated her conscience. She knew she was going to give in, maybe just for James' sake.

Unfortunately, her mouth didn't listen to her mind that often.

"I don't care what you would want," she snapped, blood rushing up to her face. "I want you out of my house. _Now!"_

"I thought so," he smiled slightly and glanced at James, whose fists were clenched at his sides. "Guess your girl isn't so perfect, eh, James? And I guess you didn't really mean that we were brothers."

"Sirius-" James started, and Lily automatically knew what he was going to say next.

"James!" she protested. His eyes flickered to her for a moment, but to quickly but only long enough for Sirius to notice. As far as Lily was concerned, he was trying to ignore her. She felt like slapping him.

"Sirius, go sit down," he jerked his head to the door, scowling even though he had relented. "And _stay _in there. Dinner will be ready in a bit."

"Excellent!" Sirius boomed, slapping her shoulder a little too hard. "We won't be bothering you then! Come on, mates!"

He turned around and James whispered something in his ear, furiously. Sirius jerked out of his grip and disappeared into the living room. James strode after him, his face dark.

"I'm very sorry about this Lily," Remus apologised awkwardly.

"We tried to stop him," Peter added, offering her a nervous smile. "But he wouldn't listen."

"I'm not surprised, really. I knew something would happen. I was just hoping it wouldn't," she rubbed her eyes and gave them a tired smile.

"Yes, but still, James had plans," Remus said unhappily. "I _told _him not to do it, but he wouldn't listen."

"Do you know why he decided to come anyway?" Lily asked, not caring that much.

"Well..." Peter and Remus exchanged glances, before Peter continued carefully. "If you _really _want to know, he's trying to persuade James to move back in with us."

The last part was said very quickly, as if Peter wanted to get it out there as soon as possible.

"Why?" Lily whispered. "What does he think I'll do to James? Smother him in his sleep?"

"No," Remus replied, slowly. "He, well, he doesn't want James to get too attached to you."

"Too late for that," Lily said dryly. "James has already told me he loves me."

"He has _not_," a sharp voice interrupted. Sirius. "I don't know how you've deluded yourself into thinking that he does, but James _does not love you_. He's a bit obsessed with you, yes, but it's not _love._"

"Yes, actually, it is," Lily shot back at him. "I know you don't care much for his happiness so long as you don't have to share him, but _I _do. I love him, and there's nothing you can do."

"You don't love him," Sirius hissed, face black. "You're using him. He's so far over his head that he can't see through your lies, but _I can_."

"Oh, piss off," she snapped. "You don't have normal understanding for human feelings; you fucked up bastard, so I don't really care what you think."

"Of course you don't," Sirius fired back. "You're just fucking with his head. You couldn't care less about _him_."

"Oh, yeah?" she asked, voice deadly quiet. "Then why the hell am I still with him?"

"How the fuck do I know?" Sirius shouted. "All I know is that you've changed him to be your lapdog and that you're fucking with his head! Sometimes, I just wish you'd fucking die!"

"Sirius!" Remus yelled, but it was much too little, much too late.

All the blood drained from Lily's face. Is that what he really thought? What he really _wanted_? Was she that bad, that he fantasised about her _dead? _It was too easy, she knew, in this war to think of people as dead. But when death was preparing to knock on your door, surely you shouldn't wish your fellow soldiers dead?

She shook her head slowly, as if trying to clear her ears of water. _Siriuswantsyoudead, Siriuswantsyoudead, ......_

"Get out of my house," she rasped. "Get the fuck out of my house."

"Why the hell should I?" he asked, with his smug superiority.

"Sirius." They all turned towards the door, where James stood, dark clouds rolling over his face, a dangerous undercurrent to his voice. "Get out."

"James-"

"I'm serious. Don't you _dare _say something like that _ever_," he hissed. "Are you fucking insane?"

"Why are you putting all this on me, huh?" Sirius scowled. "Can your precious _Lily _do no wrong? Is she that important you'd-?"

"Sirius!" Remus said sharply. Peter had already grabbed his arm and was towing him into the living room. Remus pushed him along the way. Sirius did not struggle, but he didn't help either He was a dead weight.

That left just Lily and James. Just like she'd wanted in the first place.

"Lily..."James started.

"Don't," she said, angrily. "_Don't _say he didn't mean it. Because he _did. _Why the _hell _did you let him stay? What is your _problem?"_

"Look, Lily," he ran a hand through his hair, an action that drive her mad a different way that it had when she was sixteen, though right now she didn't feel anything but anger. "Sirius is...different, okay? He's just afraid of losing his second family and he'd-"

"Do anything to keep them," she finished, her anger stopping her from crying. "Including killing me off."

"He wouldn't do that," James contradicted firmly. "Sirius is a lot of things, but he's not a murderer-"

"So you say," she muttered, a furious undercurrent to her voice. Was James _blind? _Couldn't he see how much Sirius hated her?

"And as much as he hates to admit it, he knows that I care for you the most in the world," James continued as if she hadn't spoken, save the glare he shot at her. His words surprised her – had she believed Sirius so much that she doubted James?

Once again, Lily felt the over-whelming urge to cry. "James," she began voice thick with tears. She needed to know. "You do love me, don't you?"

He didn't even pause to think. "Yes. More than anything, I love you, Lily."

"Oh, thank Merlin," she whispered. "Because I love you too."

She brought he mouth up to meet James', and, as always, she lost herself in the kiss. It was impossible to really describe kissing James; it was like the first taste of an exotic fruit from another world. Sweet, with fireworks and flames licking up and down her body, pulling her up into another, more peaceful place. A place where there was no War, no death, no Voldemort, no Sirius. Just her and James.

She felt his tongue against her lips and gladly opened them, threading her fingers through his hair. For a minute, they both fought for domination over the kiss, and he had her pushed against the counter, her legs around his waist. Finally, smelling the potatoes burn, she pulled loose, slowly, regretfully.

"We have to stop now," she gasped, trying to get her breath back. He grinned cheekily at her.

"I love how flustered you always get after we snog," he told her. It was true. She had been red from heat before, now embarrassment had settled in, flushing her skin a shade of, no doubt, uncomplimentary red.

She sighed, the bliss fading and leaned her head against his well-chiselled chest. He knew when she was lying. "Your friends are waiting for you," she murmured, not sure whether to get angry over Sirius or upset over him. "You should...you should go hang out with them."

He looked down at her seriously. "I can ask them to leave if you want," he pushed her chin up with a finger "Hey, it's all right. He won't do anything else."

"I know," unsure of who she was trying to convince. "And...Well, it's not fine. I really don't want him here But I feel quite bitchy right now, so perhaps...."

"Yes?" he asked.

"Well, perhaps _you _should make the decision, since I'll ask you to blow him to smithereens."

He frowned down at her. "This day was supposed to be special," he muttered. "I don't mind sending them away."

"Your decision," she reminded him

"Let me rephrase that," he smiled slightly. "Tell me to send them away so I have an excuse."

She laughed, but felt she would choke. "No, James. Make the decision _Prongs _would make. Not the decision I _want _you to make."

"Lily, what do you want?"

"I want him to leave and never come back, of course. I want him out of my life," she responded immediately.

"But I can't do that."

_Why not?_

As if she could hear her thought, he smiled. "He's practically my brother. I love you, Lily, but I love him, too."

"Fine," she relented reluctantly. "Do as you want. Just make sure he....James, I don't want him here while _I'm _here."

"Just this once," he promised. "Are you just going to hang out in here? And what about your Christmas?"

"I just asked you to never see your best friend again, and you're worried about _my _Christmas?" she laughed. "That's so....._James_."

"I'm serious," he grinned slightly. "Besides, one of us has to be rational."

"I'll ask Marlene and Rosie if they want to go out tomorrow," she assured him. "I'll have fun too."

"But it's not your perfect Christmas."

She deliberated. "It would be my worst Christmas if it weren't for this conversation," she said finally. He nodded, once and disappeared.

Lily rubbed her temples and pulled her wand out. Time for some Christmas magic.

Flick, flick, flick. Soon enough, kitchen appliances were flying all over the place and the turkey her mother had given her was cooking along with the other, smaller one at double speed. The food would be ready in just under an hour.

In an hour, she'd have to sit out there with Sirius, Peter, Remus and James. Could she do it, after all that had happened? She'd never really thought of herself as a coward, but she felt walking out there would be how the victims of pirates felt as they walked the plank. And she really didn't want to fall into shark-infested waters.

Oh well. She'd just have to suck it up. After all, why throw a tantrum when you're the mature, sensible age of eighteen?

She snorted. Eighteen was not mature. Eighteen was a stupid age where arrogance was at its height, but when you lose the most. And she _so_ wanted to throw a tantrum, to stomp her foot and scream that she wanted _out_.

Because she was tired now. Tired of Sirius, tired of the Order, tired of the War, tired of death. She was so tired she ached with it.

She wanted to _leave_.

Her head jerked up. She had never thought something like that. Never thought about turning her back on this world, of fleeing to another country and living like a Muggle. Just settling down with a normal man and having a family, a normal life-

_James_.

She couldn't leave him, she told herself firmly. She would stay here, just for him. And what about those who were dying? Was she stupid enough to think Voldemort would never find her and her family?

No. Lily Evans was a lot of things but she wasn't stupid.

She rolled her shoulders back, searching for something to do. Perhaps she could write an owl, get her mind off things. Yes, that would do. Picking up a quill and some spare parchment she made her way over to the owl, already planning what to say.

_Dear Mum,_

_Merry Christmas._

_Love,  
Lily_

Oh, for God's _sake_. Was that the best she could do? _Merry Christmas_? That's it?

She slapped her forehead and groaned, racking her brains for something else, anything else. But there was nothing, nothing that wouldn't alarm her Muggle mother and she gave up on the effort, choosing to watch the snowflakes instead.

"Lil?" James questioned quietly from the doorway. "Do you want me to help you with the food?"

She jumped, startled out of her reverie and shook her head. "No, its fine, I've got it." She waved her wand again, sending food, cutlery and crockery flying. Another wave and there were five plates, filled with the traditional Christmas dinner. Turkey, stuffing, Yorkshire pudding, vegetables, including, of course, the Brussels sprouts that had been infamous through her childhood.

"Right," four of the plates floated off into the other room and she could hear Remus shouting at the others to eat. The fifth plate hung between her and James.

"Aren't you going to come and eat inside?" he asked, face devoid of emotion, eyes shaded.

"James..."

"I want you to." That was all it took; four words and she was putty. Honestly, what happened to that young, strong, _independent _woman she used to be?

Oh right, she fell in love. And love generally takes your free will away.

She huffed. "Fine," she said tersely. "But I swear, James, if he says _one word _I am kicking him to kingdom come."

"Can he speak to me? The boys?" he asked, half-smiling through his serious face. "Or is he confined to a lifetime of silence?"

"Oh, ha, ha," she bit our sarcastically. "You're so _funny_."

He grinned, all seriousness gone now. "I know. My wit and humour overwhelms you, doesn't it?"

"Among other things," she muttered, pushing to door open."

The three Marauders sitting at the table stared at her, before Remus unfroze and smiled at her, gesturing to the empty seat. "Come sit down."

"James, mate!" called Sirius, ignoring Lily entirely. "We were discussing the prank we pulled, fifth year, right on the first day! Remember? Evans gave you detention?"

"I remember," James replied, holding out a seat for Lily. She thanked him with a smile. He returned it and then turned to Sirius, grinning. "I remember how pissed Peeves was that we'd managed to upstage his Beginning of the Year Prank."

"Ah, that was too good!" exclaimed Sirius jovially, slapping James' back as he sat down.

To an outsider, dinner would look like a group of good friends sitting down for dinner. Inside, however, it was another story. Lily felt tense all the way through, forcing herself to make small talk with Remus and Peter so it would not appear she was sulking. Because she wasn't.

In fact, she was going through all the hexes she knew and imagining using them on Sirius, and the outcome. The images were gratifying, even though they just about managed to stop her from punching him.

And, of course, there was the fact she was wondering why the hell she'd ever agreed to date James. What had possessed her to do that and be put in the same vicinity as Sirius Black on a daily basis?

Oh, right, her crazy, idiotic, (that-actually-really-needed-to-be-tossed-out)side.

She finished her dinner quickly, manners stopping her from jumping up and running right back to Surrey, where her family was probably having the annual drunk karaoke and dancing competition.

When, finally, Peter finished his dinner, she had her wand out and was rushing off after the dishes. The boys watched her amazed.

"Does she really like cleaning that much?" Peter wondered aloud, after the door had slammed shut behind her.

Sirius laughed. "'Course not. She was just trying to get away from me. Which is why she'll want to castrate me when I follow her in and talk to her."

"Sirius," James warned standing up with his friend. "Don't."

"Stop being such an old lady, James," Sirius said, always uncaring. "I won't be _mean _to her."

Lily had been scrubbing the dishes for a few minutes before she realised there was someone in the room with her. Wheeling around, she threw the plate she was holding, only to see it shatter against the wall.

"Bloody hell," someone cursed from next to her. "You really _are _violent."

She glared at him. How _dare _he come in here? What the hell was _wrong _with him? Didn't he realise that her fingers were begging to be allowed to pick up that knife? Was he _crazy_?

Yes. Yes, he was.

"What are you doing in here, Black?" she spat out at him.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" he countered.

"It _looks _like you're trying to get yourself killed," she snapped. "I'm that close to cursing you to oblivion Sirius, but I'm not going to you because you're James' best friend and _I _wouldn't do that to him!"

"Do what?"

"Try to take someone he loves away from him!" she shrieked, neglecting to mention she had tried that just an hour ago. What did it matter anyway?

"You would," Sirius said, amused. "You tried to."

How did he know?

"Yes," she agreed, not bothering to deny it. "But I've put up with you for a year, Sirius, and you haven't given me one chance! Do you know how much it kills James to see us at each other's throats? I don't _want _that! I don't want to know he might now choose me, because I can't _deal _with that!"

She didn't know why she'd said that. It had just seemed right at the time. And it had seemed to do the trick.

There was a moment of silence.

"You really _do _love him," he murmured, wondrously.

"Oh, _congratulations_," she mocked, still not letting go of her anger. "You _noticed._"

"He loves you, too, you know," he informed her quietly. Lily's lips parted and she stared at him in shock. "More than you know. You mean everything to him."

What could she say to that? What was there _to _say? "I...."

"Look, Lily," he interrupted. "You and me...we've never got along. And we'll never be bosom buddies. But I don't want to make James choose, either. Yeah, you can be a bitch sometimes and I can be a bastard, but you're good for James. In seventh year, after his mum was killed....you made him happy. Just...don't hurt him okay? He's my family, and I don't want a heart-broken brother, understand? So don't hurt him, because I _will _hurt you."

"Sirius," she paused for a minute, trying to collect her thoughts, deciding to be frank with him. "I don't like you. Never have and never will. I know I'm a bitch, but I would _never _hurt, James. I know you think I will once the interest drops but it never will, okay? Just...I don't really want to have to talk to you more than I have to. I trust you – with my life, much as I hate to admit it, because James loves you, but I don't want to have to socialise with you, understand?"

He nodded, seriously. "I understand," then he smiled. "I'm glad we cleared that up."

She frowned, contemplating. She felt oddly relieved, as if a heavy weight had been lifted off her chest.

"Yeah," she agreed. "Me too. I needed that."

"And Lily," he hesitated slightly before rushing on. "I hope you and James are happy. And I know you'll love his present...and I'm happy for the both of you."

_What the hell?_

She stared at the closed door, wondering if perhaps Sirius Black didn't belong in a mental hospital.

"Hey," she started at James voice.

"Hey," she said quietly.

"What was that all about?" he asked. "With Sirius, I mean."

James really didn't need to know the details. "We just sorted a few points out. Nothing important, really." _Liar_. James raised his eyebrows, but did not question her. He opened his mouth to say something, but she beat him there. "What...He said I would like a present you got me. What did he mean?"

"Ah," James ran a hand through his hair nervously. "I didn't exactly picture it like this. We were supposed to be by that lake we went to with your family. The one you love. And... You were supposed to have had a good Christmas. Without all the arguing and crying and my mad mates. I was thinking about doing it some other time, but now that you've asked I guess I – _Merlin_, I'm babbling aren't I?"

She laughed and reached out to pull his hand away from his eyes. "It's okay," she told his. "Take a deep breath. And spit it out already."

He clenched his fists, breathing in and holding before exhaling slowly.

"Alright," he muttered. "I'll do it now."

Slowly, very slowly, unsure of himself, James got down onto one knee.

_Oh, God._

"Lily," she loved his voice. So husky and deep and reassuring. It was a voice she could imagine listening to forever. He brought a box out of his pocket, hesitantly and flipped it open. "Lily Evans, I love you. Will you marry me?"

"What sort of question is that?" she smiled slightly, brushing away the brimming tears that blurred the perfect scene. "You know I'm going to say yes."

She pulled him up, firmly gluing her mouth to his. She could feel his laugh in his chest, rumbling against hers. She was just losing herself in the fire, when she realised that she was missing one tiny, insignificant detail.

"Wait!" she gasped. James shot her annoyed look.

"Why do you always do this? Interrupt while we're-"

"Put the ring on first!" she insisted, choosing to ignore him.

"Oh, right," he slipped the ring onto her finger. "Beautiful. Soon, we'll replace it with a wedding ring."

"Yes," she whispered, staring at the ring, drinking it all in, hoping that it wasn't a dream. "Soon."

He kissed her again, but it wasn't as hasty as others, nor did it immediately send fire running up and down her body. It was slower, draw out with the promise of forever.

Because this was her perfect Christmas.

* * *

**A/N (2):** So, what do you think? Was the proposal alright? Please let me know!


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